I’ve been phoning around the crafts shops asking if they have any large koala noses, as you do. Only one person spluttered with laughter; she gets a big tick of approval. But it turns out there is a dearth of koala noses. What can have happened?? Where can they be? Are they living it up, kicking up their heels somewhere, free at last?

Later:
I got to thinking what a strange word dirth was, and tried looking it up. There was a derth of dirths but eventually I found that its obsolete, obscure and spelt derth, making for a derth of derths, as well as dirths and koala noses. (Still later: Okay, it’s dearth. I got there in the end.)

Pasha at Project Puppet in comments below found one loafing around (thanks Pasha!), confirming my suspicions.

Fancy having to send to the US for a koala nose.